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November

Starting to get the goosebumps on every winterish picture I’m scrolling too…
it is November. Sweet November.
Starting on me this month, with whole new experiences and projects and I can feel how they’re reflecting on me, giving me this licker in my eyes… highlights in my hair and sparkles on my skin. I’m all shiny now :)) .
Just kidding but the new projects part is very real… :)
Above all… me, being such a sucker for seasons and lover of the significant parts on every single one of them, especially winter and its Christmas… Oh my God, I could just go shopping yesterday.

Really, starting November I’m so Christmasy, I’ma turn into a tree… lights on me and presents next to my feet and all…

Happy we get to experience all this magic coming soon, together.
Loving, living, sharing these days

Love you. Me

simple minded

 

E adevarat ca din cand in cand, de-a lungul anilor m-am intrebat daca totusi sunt complicata…
Dar de-a lungul anilor m-am simtit si speciala prin simpla mea tendinta de a complica absolut totul. Si totusi cred, ca majoritatea din noi am facut asa, cel putin la un moment dat.
Eram asa de “mica” in sensul de abia “rasarita” printre oamenii mari… Si probabil ca e forta aia atat de proaspata cu care iesi inarmat la vreo 20 de ani si care te defineste atunci. E un act de rebeliune, sa gandesti ca timpul e de partea ta si ca e al tau. Timpul. Pentru ca il ai din plin. Timpul. Sa complici totul fara consecinte prea mari, sa fii tu cel special, niciodata inteles, jucator suprem al vietii ba chiar amuzat de ea si de problemele ei… e timpul.
Sunt totusi complicata? Clar, da… si ma intreb daca o sa raman asa si cand vor veni anii 30.
Si in final… ce se intampla?
Invat. Invat ca primesti ceea ce dai… esti ceea ce gandesti, traiesti fix ce exerciti. Oarecum e un proces complicat si ca sa fiu sincera “complicat” nu e cap de lista atunci cand tot ce iti doresti de fapt e ca lucrurile sa functioneze, sa mearga inainte… sa intelegi si tu cate ceva din viata. Dar tot eu realizez ca sunt doar cateva zile de cand am scris niste randuri despre cat e de important sa te accepti si sa te iubesti chiar si complicat… cu atat mai mult complicat… ai atat de multa nevoie.
Si asa am realizat ca in final, mici bucati de Eu intr-o stare complicata, au ramas. Am pastrat complexitatea initiala a unor situatii, care mai apoi m-au condus spre locuri mari si esentiale in viata mea. Mereu am pornit din cel mai galagios punct, din cea mai agitata situatie si mi-am incheiat pledoaria actiunilor prin a intelege. Prin a intelege galagia.
Concluzie?
Fac lucruri complicate sa para simple in galagia lor. Si nu e gen de arta in lume care are la baza personalitati simple. Ani mai tarziu am inteles si mai multe despre arta. Sunt artist.
Artist? Cel care creaza sau lucreaza simultan si direct proportional cu sentimente extrem de complexe… dificile si greu de digerat in general. Nu vrei in mintea unui artist, vrei arta lui. E un mod de a arata lumii ceea ce esti dar intr-un mod simplu, pentru ca lumea sa poata sa vada si chiar sa creada ca de fapt e usor. Dar arta nu e usoara. Dar tu nu vezi asta pentru ca artistul face ca singurul lucru complicat, ramas neanulat sa fie frumusetea.
Sunt simpla? Cel mai probabil, nu. Dar s-ar putea sa crezi ca sunt pentru ca sunt artist… e in arta noastra sa o facem sa para usor, in final.
Ai grija la ochii cu care privesti lumea.

***

Every now and then, throughout the years I was asking myself.. Am I complicated?
But throughout the years I felt kind of special by simply complicating everything … who didn’t, sometime along their youth?
I was so young… and I think it’s the new born force and the courageous vibes of those barely 20’s you’re having going on. It’s rebellious to feel like time is only playing by your side and you have it. You have all the time in the world to complicate everything, to be complicated, to be that special something, never understood, always playing games, laughing at life and every serious issue, young person….
Am I being complicated? I am. Will I be still, later in my 30’s …. Well if they don’t find a cure…
So what happens now?
I’m learning that you get what you deliver… you are what you think… you live what you exercise. It’s complicated and to be true, complications are not on the list when all you want to do is to make things work… get them going… live a little. But just the other day, I was writing about acceptance. Accepting yourself and love yourself, even your complicated self, especially your complicated self… you need it so much.
Then I realised…
Little pieces of this complex process of complicating everything always… got stuck. I’m keeping the complexity of things that always led to a much bigger place in my life. Always starting in the messiest situation and ending everything up by finally understanding the mess.

Conclusion?
I’m making things seem simple. But there is no art in the world that starts by being simple. So years later, I accepted. I am artist.
Artist? That person that is creating or working while feeling the complexity of all realities, translating them later into simplicity, making you feel things that were out of your reach before. It all starts with a big messy picture reduced to an understatement for the world to feel like they have art all figured out. Only complication that remains is the beauty of it. The beauty of art.
Am I simple minded? I sure as hell am not… but you can always feel like I am, cuz I am usually making it appear pretty easy, in the end.

Careful to the eyes you look at the world.
Immensely complex love I have for you.

***